I mean that feeling where you'd rather have a night "off" from being a sub and just snuggle and relax with no other agenda, wanting some personal space, wanting things to be more.. dare I say... Vanilla?
Then suddenly, something is about to change and you dont want it to. You want more than you ever let yourself consider before. You want to be totally consumed and you want to be with them all the time.
Your pushed and pulled in different directions.
What was that song.... "Leave me alone (I'm lonely)"?
I've got that.
I get petrified at the thought of talking on the phone (I abhor talking on the phone at the best of times!) and now that he might be leaving, all I want to do is hear his voice.
I get petrified at the thought of seeing him face to face and now I just want to book a ticket.
Which is real? Which do I really want?
I want him to tell me. I think, I need him to tell me.
Maybe it's both. I don't think people are any one way -- at least not all of the time.
ReplyDeleteIt's perfectly natural for you to want a bit of both!
I'm feeling exactly as you describe this morning. I'd like the morning 'out' of being a sub just to take stock and not have to do what's been asked of me via Dropbox for His return home from work.
ReplyDeleteI also know that this feeling will have passed in a couple of hours and I will crave Him and His Masetrful ways once again lol.
I would like to think it's completely normal!
Regards
DY