Returning to old haunts

Hey folks.... though mostly I'm just picturing me sitting in a half furnished room talking to myself as its been so long...

Things went from bad, to worse to a meltdown.

I'm not a fan of airing dirty washing out in public, but the long and the short of it was that my new job was much harder than I expected it to be... which caused lots of stress heart ache and sleep-less nights.

I asked to be released from my Dom because I couldnt handle my work load while still providing for His needs.

I'm not "on the market" mostly because I'm only just getting into the swing of managing this job.

But I'm still here to share my thoughts and read the thoughts of others. I've missed spending the few moments it takes to read a blog and post on my own, so I'm going to try and pick up where I left off.

Keeping away from the pity party now -
I've noticed my taste running to more and more darker, meaner and more abusive fantasies/stories.  Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough about it to share some snippits with the web... but when I am not horny, my fantasies seem to be... disturbing and wrong. (which I see as somewhat of a good thing - at least thinking back on them doesnt turn me on, they just heighten my arousal when I am ALREADY turned on).

I want to explore them further. And mean as it might sound, I think being free from any sort of relationship will help me. The only niggle I had from my previous relationship was my Dom holding back from me. Wanting me to see only the good and the gentle (unless I was being punished). I dont want that. I want to explore the dark and violence.

So, no really catchy sign off comment.... just that I'm planning on being back!

~OH