"Within the sound of silence"

Not much to say really... hence the silence.

And I'm enjoying the silence really.... "hello darkness, my old friend"

Things feel better, even though I'm alone.... though I did meet someone in passing that I hope to see again!
Should I share information about it, and risk jinxing it, or should I be mean and keep you in the dark about him? "Hello darkness, my old friend"

~OH

Anger

I am so angry!

I am NOT a puppet master - I do NOT control the actions and behavior of others. How DARE they blame ME for THEIR mistakes?!?!

And I'm feeling pissed off even more because I'M the one that has to be a professional about it! Fuck 'em.

And now I need painful, growling, scratching, rough, angry sex to get it all out of my system.... but unless a Master kicks down my door and takes me... I'll have to revert to Yoga.... anti-climatic, or what?

~OH

Cold is horrible today and damnit need to be used. I don't think my fingers have strayed far from my cunt all morning. I have fantasied from the simple and sweet, to the vile and dirty.

I am gasping for pain. I've started biting my lower lip enough to make it bleed, while I'm pinching my pussy lips and scratching my inner thigh while slowly circling my clit until its hard and sensitive - sensitive enough to flick and scratch with my nail until have to sink my dildo inside my cunt and cum around it, squeezing and milking it like would a real cock.

.... Need a Master much?

Hope you all out there are having a pleasurable (;)) weekend!

*purrs*

Works all done for tomorrow, house is warm, good film on TV and a snuggly soft blanket to cuddle under... and still I feel like shit about the cold I can feel creeping up on me :(
Hopefully it will go away soon!

I've been thinking and re-assessing things a lot this week.... reading over my posts and thinking about what I want...

I think I need to let go and be... available... for a new Dom. I'm going through the motions at the moment. It feels like I dont have anything  to look forward to during my day (especially coming home from work).... unless you count checking my blog to see if there are some nice comments for me to read...

Do I really want to go through all that again? Not really... not if I'm honest.
But there is so much I want to be able to DO for someone. I want to connect with someone again.
So much I want to give and so much I want taken from me, that I think I need to go "through all that again".

So... on the sub market, or on the sub shelf? .... who knows?

~OH

Let me entertain you... I wish....

*sigh*
I'm feeling so... tired. Tired of coming home and working and working, then cumming by my fingers or fake dick, showering and then getting into bed with a book.

Mostly I'm just moaning that its always me making myself cum. For immediate relief, its fine.

But long term, its starting to suck.

Taking reservations for people to come and entertain me!

~OH

Real submission X2

I've been thinking about my post and the replies I've had to it....

Maybe its like stages of D/s?
The start is the rules and impressing the rules - so there are orders
Then after that its keeping up with the expectations - so there are requests (requests that are going to be followed because of the extent of the training at the start)

But could it be that when you get to the stage of keeping up with expectations, that things become... dare I say... dull?

Dom's train their subs to be "perfect" subs to the Dom's they have... but then, whats the allure for the Dom once the sub has reached that? Or is it impossible for a sub to ever become that proficient?

so many questions, so little answers!

~OH

"Real" submission

I was daydreaming in the car on the drive home... thinking of some short little fuck story I could type up here to tease myself before I make myself cum later on tonight... and my musings bought me to a realization... one that really, I've known before... but in this Dom-less time, have neglected/forgotten...

Real submission isnt doing something after being ordered... its doing something after being asked.

Got to really wonder why there is the need for making demands and orders for a committed long term D/s lifestyle... unless its punishment.

Or would that be taking away some of the very obvious balance play in the relationship?

Any ideas from those out there?

~OH